whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Then you guys just all showered together...?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
