i don't like sucking hair
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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