Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
