why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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