you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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