I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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