y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
