I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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