they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
