you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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