It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
