I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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