..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
