so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
