their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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