I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
