How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
