Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
