dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize