the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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