love makes seman taste better
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
