my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
