let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
