Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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