Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
