apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
