we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Farmville is her only friend.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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