that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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