I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
