STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
