Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
