Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize