I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
