So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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