just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
