He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
