You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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