i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
foreskin is a definite game changer
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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