and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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