Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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