There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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