but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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