I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
