i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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