Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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