if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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