It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
