tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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