This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
