So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
