I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
