Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
