You really coming over, don't trick.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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