yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
