I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
