i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
