Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
