exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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