Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
40s are totally the cure
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
