Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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