We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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