Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.

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(917): View more from New York City

Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"

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