no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
