i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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