Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
