trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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