well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Randomize
