So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
