I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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