I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
