I have demons in me.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
